2020 The Terrible: Part 2 - What Got Me Through

    

    Only a day after publishing 2020 The Terrible, I woke up thinking about strange 2020 was. Possibly how this year could be. There were a myriad of low moments last year that brought me down. However, there was always something I would be able to do to bring myself back up (even if just a little bit). I'm not really a person who actually thinks much about how they're feeling. Most of the time I just keep it all bottled up and keep it to myself unless it was something happy to share. Honestly, I did that for many years. In 2020, to much happened to let it all stay bottled in. The amount of times I actually took time to cry could number to infinity if I tried to count them. I've probably cried more in 2020 than I have in my whole life (even though skinned knees, hitting my head a little to hard, and a sibling throwing something at me  happened often). 

    Last year quickly became the year I would journal more, practice self care more, and even open up to people about my feelings (I'm still working on that last one 😉). In previous years of my life, I was normally far to busy to really journal, practice self care, or even think about how I was feeling. The constant go-go-go kept me busy and well distracted from anything wrong. Obviously, I was brought to a sharp halt more than a couple times (staying home in the midst of the pandemic being one of those times). I didn't have a single thing on the schedule and nothing to do. Everything shut down. If it weren't for some of the things I did, I would have likely shut down too. I soon learned to better recognize when I needed to take a step back and take a breather. To process what I was feeling in a healthy way, give myself a break, and actually take a break (to put it in perspective, I had been almost always away from home every summer for maybe 5 years). The constant buzz faded away to a soft hum that I have slowly (and I mean slowly) grown to love. There was a quiet that I was finally able to enjoy and think in.

    The first (and likely one of the most helpful thing to me) thing I'll tell you about that helped me back up, was music. To just sit and listen to the lyrics, harmonies, and every little beat. Sometimes certain songs I'd play over and over again because it spoke to how I was feeling in that moment. A friend and I made a collaborative playlist to share songs back and forth (sometimes spamming each other due to feelings) some very deep hinting to what we were feeling and others just to make the other smile. We have one hundred and fifty songs on there for the moment and are trying to decide if we want to start afresh for 2021. I really recommend having a shared playlist with a close friend. Now there were a ton of songs I listened to that I could say "got me through" the year. I present to you my playlist, The Songs That Helped Me Through. A collection of songs that made me cry, feel hopeful, belt at the top of my lungs, and happy. Every single one of these were on my Spotify Wrapped playlist showing how much I actually listened to each song.

    Journaling was a huge thing for me this year. I started to get back into it in mid 2019. I was a skeptic at first, but I am so glad that I did. With the stress that went on with surgery, quarantine, moving, and a plethora of other events. It was a great way to think through what I felt and the things that were happening (or not happening) throughout 2020. I've found so much peace through writing out my thoughts. Having it out on paper has become so comforting. It almost feels like opening up to someone. Journaling before bed also helps this insomniac have a chance at sleeping. 

    Talking to my friends really made a difference when quarantine started (and even now). Texting people began to be a favorite thing (to be honest, I didn't really text people at all. Weird for someone in my generation I know) to do when I had extra time. Eventually, some of my childhood friends and I started to Zoom each week. We had some pretty great moments. Pictionary, Mad Libs (trust me, don't do this after having an organ removed), collaborative art, playing Among Us and screaming at each other, and even making cookies "together." There were some amazing moments. We were able to have sanity checks (mine came into question a few weeks ago after talking about my digital plant life 😂) and have fun at the same time. 

    Of course reading my Bible and praying were easily the most important. Having to make one of the important decisions of my life was only made after reading and praying. Every time I was at my limit of patience with this entire year, I'd pray. Peace was always found after every quiet time with God. Ultimately, it was God who got me through this year. 

    Every single thing that helped me through that not so great year, I'm going to carry into this year. I think we've all learned a bit more about ourselves last year that will help us this year and years to come. Now, I have no idea what 2021 will hold. The events that I normally go to may happen but then again, they may not. But if I have another bad year, I know what will help get me through it.

Until next time,

KS

- what's something that got you through last year?