Why I'm Glad I've Stayed Single So Long

   

 Happy February! In case you missed the "theming announcement" over on SBF2, I just wanted to show you what I wrote in a recent post over there! "It is now February. Meaning we are bombarded on all sides by Valentine's Day and even more cute couple's content than normal. It also happens to be the month that I am most reminded of my singleness. My friend actually calls February "Single Pringle Awareness Month." 😂 This month, you can expect Valentine's themed content for us "single pringles" from me. No "Ten Cute Zoom Date Ideas For You and Your SO," "How To Make The Best Couple Shadowbox For Your Boyfriend," or "Best Meal To Make In Lockdown For You and Your Love To Eat With Masks On." But for those wanting some Valentine's things without the mushy couples things, I've got you." So tune in for some single's Valentine's Day content on both blogs!

  This is honestly a post I wanted to put off for a good long time. When I first wanted to write it, it sat in my drafts but felt it was not the right time, so I would delete the draft. This went on for more than a few months. Staring a draft and then deleting it a few days later. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend and I really started feeling like I should write it. So here we are. 

    In this day and age, teens date for the fun of it. Casually dating, flaunting relationships on social media, and ending up with their hearts broken. Now I know that it doesn't always end like that. When you're a teen and single, people tend to ask if you're dating anyone. Frequently. If I was ever asked that question, I'd always reply happily with a "Nope." That's it. Now why can I answer that question so happily?

   I've never had to deal with the drama that comes with any relationship. Dealing with drama in relationships always seemed like too much. As the kind of "no drama" person I've always been, I think I'd have been a terrible person to be in a relationship with. I'm so happy I've reigned as much of the potentially drama causing attitude as I have been able to. 😂 If I'm honest, if I had been in a relationship earlier on in life, there would have been a ton of trouble. I've been able to work through some problems and now I can say that I would probably not be as horrible of a girlfriend now. 😂

    I was able to get to know my genuine self. Over the past few years, I've changed so much and I wanted to get to know who I was before getting into a relationship. That way, I knew I was going to be who God created me to be instead of accidentally changing myself to be whatever I thought my boyfriend might like best. I might not have become the fierce and bold person I am today. The person who speaks her mind is very much not a people pleaser. In the years I've been single, I've been able to grow to love who I've become. Something I'm glad for. 

    I wanted to make sure that if I ever got into a relationship, it wasn't just because I was trying to fill a "God shaped hole." People try to look for happiness in places other than God. See if you feel that you'll only feel complete with a person by your side, you should probably evaluate whether or not you have a "God shaped hole." I have never felt more complete than in the joy I have have found in Christ. 

    My schedule was always full. From age eleven up to now (at almost twenty), my calendar has been filled with archery practice, violin lessons, orchestra rehearsals, working, volunteering, and so many other things. I've never really had the extra time to do any self care, so how could I have really had time to adequately given myself in a relationship? So I'm thankful that I didn't have that. 

    If I had a boyfriend at the age of 17, I would have almost definitely not gone to Joni and Friends. I'd have ended up wanting to spend time with my S.O. over the summer and selfishly said "no" to the opportunity to go to camp. I wouldn't have found the thing I love most. I would not have experienced true and unfiltered joy. Not going to camp would have made me a completely different person from the one I am today.

    Now don't get me wrong. It's not like I wouldn't enjoy being in a relationship. I still feel the pangs of loneliness every now and again. But I choose not to linger in that headspace. Yeah, you can dream of that first kiss, first dance, and first house, but there is the present to live in. To love. In a recent conversation a friend said, "Dreaming isn't a bad thing, as long as one isn't pining away at them." I agree. Pining away for hours and hours feels like idolizing to me. This doesn't seem like a great way to live. Unhappy because what you've been pining for isn't in your grasp. Instead, dream of what you could be doing NOW for HIS glory. 

    Throughout most of my life, I've responded to the statement "everybody needs somebody" that there is only one person I need. He is my savior. People tend to believe that they are not complete until they get in a relationship. Let me tell you, you can live a wholly fulfilling life before  ever getting into a relationship. I don't need a Romeo, Joe Alwyn, or Harry Styles. I just want to live in a God glorifying way and enjoy that. If a relationship happens somewhere along the journey that is life, cool. I get a travelling buddy. God has a plan for my life and so far that plan has been for me to remain single. Great things have happened in that time, so I'll gladly remain so if that's what is meant to be. If God sends somebody, I'll be happy. If not, I'll be happy. 

-fin

    That is just about the most "different" post I have ever written. I'm glad I finally wrote this post after months of wanting to. It's been on my mind more and more lately since it's February now. I see more and more couple's content than ever, so it's been at the front of my mind. Hopefully, all my thoughts made sense to at least some of you. 😂

Thank you SO much for reading. It means so much to me that you do! Keep an eye out for a post on this site eight days from now (a super easy way to be notified is to follow or subscribe 😉), or for a post four days from now on She Be Fierce 2! If you want to see what I'm up to, you can follow me on  Instagram. I am trying to post more consistently on my Instagram, and am actually ok with posting to my stories. So go check it out!

Until next time, 

KS

-what are your thoughts on singleness?